15 Things No Parent Should Have to Say to Their Teen Daughter

15 Things No Parent Should Have to Say to Their Teen Daughter

I have two adult daughters who are the light of my life, but I have to admit—their teen years were not the brightest. I could have done without the arguments over the boys they dated, the clothes they wore or the fact that they mastered crawling out of a bedroom window late at night without disturbing the dogs.

Any parent who makes it through their child’s teen years unscathed deserves a medal of honor.

Perhaps more so if they’ve been able to successfully raise daughters.

There are certain things that no parent should EVER have to say to their little darlings once they’ve transitioned from the tea party, dress-up stage to Cyndi Lauper’s girls-just-wanna-have-fun stage.

Although the parent may feel they have a handle on raising their teen girl, it’s inevitable that one or all of the following lines will be uttered from their lips at one time or another:

1.Drop that hem about four more inches before you leave the house.

2. You want to put a tattoo where?

3. I know you consider twerking a skill, but that still doesn’t mean you should dance like that in public.

4. You’ll need to buy another cell phone just to store all your bathroom selfies.

what not to say to your teen daughter

5. Of course you won’t gain five pounds from eating three Milk Duds at the movie theatre.

6. No, I’m not leaving work just to bring you a tampon at school.

7. You could save a lot of money by actually washing your clothes instead of buying new ones to avoid doing laundry.

8. There’s a great deal on Amazon right now for chastity belts.

9. No, you’re not allowed to get your belly button, nose or nipples pierced.

10. You’re not going to experience life on the back of a motorcycle until you’re over twenty-one.

11. Yes, there really is such a thing as too much eye liner.

what not to say to your teen daughter

12. I don’t care how cute he is—if his I.Q. matches his shoe size, you can’t date him.

13. No, you won’t be scarred for life by scraping old food off the dishes before you load them into the dishwasher.

14. If the clock strikes twelve and you’re not home, your car won’t turn into a pumpkin but your social life will turn into the black hole while you’re grounded.

15. No, you’re not allowed to use your college loan money for a Brazilian butt lift.

I’m proud to say that I survived raising two teen girls—-despite a few tattoos and piercings along the way. Thank God for BOGO sales on chastity belts!

What funny things have you had to say to your teen daughter?


Marcia Kester Doyle
Marcia Kester Doyle Guest Contributor
Marcia Kester Doyle is the author of the humor book, Who Stole My Spandex? Life In The Hot Flash Lane, and the voice behind the popular midlife blog, Menopausal Mother (http://www.menopausalmom.com). Her work has appeared in Cosmopolitan, Better Homes And Gardens, Country Living, Woman’s Day, House Beautiful, The Huffington Post, Hello Giggles, Ravishly, The Fix, and Scary Mommy, among others.
By | 2017-08-16T16:01:49+00:00 August 16th, 2017|Parenting|3 Comments

About the Author:

Hi! I'm Kristie! I am a mom of three and wife to an awesome gaming nerd. I love all things pink and sparkly. I blog here at The Mom Life Chronicles and at The Official ceoMom. I strive to help other mompreneurs achieve their goals and create a life of freedom!


  1. Roy A Ackerman, PhD, EA August 17, 2017 at 10:25 am - Reply

    I must be lucky. I only needed 2 of those!

  2. Diane August 17, 2017 at 11:11 am - Reply

    I’m realizing now how little grief my girls caused me. Except for a couple of the guys my eldest daughter dated. Yikes! Little scary for a while . . .

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